Twigbranch's Amazing Gameshow
by Duskspiral
Summary: Twigbranch has always wanted to have her own game show, and with the help of Bluestar and Hawkfrost, her dream finally comes true. But Hawkfrost isn't a fan of his job. He'd rather sell... well, some very odd and interesting products. As he drifts away, can Twigbranch finally convince him to stay?
1. Episode One

**Authors note: This is inspired by all the amazing fanfics about game shows, such as all the 'Win A Date With _' stories and of course, the legendary Empress Tansy. **

**Also, the poll on my profile is closing in the next hour!**

**Now, let's get on with the story.**

Chapter one: Episode One

Twigbranch, of course, had an office. The walls of her office were a mossy green, and the floor was made of a thin, dark gray carpet. The place was decorated with a collection of potted ferns and grass. There was also a black desk in the middle of the room, but it connected to one of the walls. On the desk was a laptop, a fishbowl and a pad of purple sticky notes.

The gray she-cat herself was padding around her office restlessly, thinking.

_I need some jelly donuts…_

"You okay, miss?"

Twigbranch stopped to look over at Hawkfrost, the sound guy. He was dressed in a black tuxedo and was standing in the doorway.

"I've never seen you so formal before," she exclaimed.

Hawkfrost rolled his eyes.

"This is our first episode," he grunted, "We've got to make a good impression. But after this, I'm going back to sweats. This outfit will be the death of me."

Twigbranch tilted her head to the side.

"But you're the sound person - I mean, cat. All this standing up on two legs is turning me into a twoleg - no one's even going to see you."

Hawkfrost shrugged, then snapped his toes. His tuxedo was instantly replaced by a camouflage outfit.

"Is that better?" Hawkfrost asked.

Twigbranch's eyes widened in bewilderment. "I have multiple questions."

But before she could start asking all twenty-nine of her questions, the door to her office flung open.

"Twigbranch! Get out of here! You're the star of the show that's starting in a meer three seconds!" Bluestar, the producer, barked.

Twigbranch gasped, remembering her jelly donut craving. "I'm not ready! Roll the commercials!"

"We don't _have_ commercials! We're live!" Bluestar hissed, sounding exasperated.

"Uh…" Twigbranch started to panic. She looked around the room wildly, then grabbing a stapler that was hanging from a hook in the wall. "I know!" She instantly brightened.

"Twigbranch, what. Are. You. Doing?" Bluestar spat. "We need you out there! Pronto!"

Twigbranch passed the stapler to Hawkfrost.

"Go do a commercial about it!"

"But it's a stapler."

"Who cares!"

《Commercial Time!》

"Introducing, Twigbranch's Amazing Gameshow! But first, we have a commercial."

And with that, Hawkfrost walked onto stage on two legs like he'd been trained to. Then he realized that everyone hated when cats walked on two legs (The Cats movie…) so he stopped doing that. He sat down silently in the center of the stage, facing the crowd.

"Hello, everyone," he said calmly. "Today I am here to talk about a product called… um…" he looked into the crowd to find an idea, then he spotted some brilliant inspiration on someone's face, "the Beard Stapler? Uh, yes, the Beard Stapler."

The crowd laughed.

"And it… it staples beards," he stuttered. "Uh… yeah, that's all!"

Then Hawkfrost, panicked and embarrassed, looked wildly around at the crowd and ran offstage.

《Meanwhile…》

Twigbranch was totally freaking out. She needed some jelly donuts, now!

"Alright, the pathetic commercial had finished," Bluestar hissed. "Get on stage."

Twigbranch started to squirm.

"I need some jelly donuts…" she whispered. "If I don't get my jelly donuts, I malfunction."

Bluestar sniffed.

"Nonsense," she said, poking Twigbranch in the chest, eyes narrowed. "What a stupid excuse for stage fright. Get up there."

《Twigbranch Finally Goes Onstage.》

"Alright folks! Sorry for the delay! We were having some technical issues!" The announcer called.

From the audience, a cream tom with a stumpy tail snickered.

"I bet Twigbranch had to staple her beard!" He exclaimed.

The announcer let out an audible groan.

"If any other comments are made, all pesky cats will be removed from the audience immediately. I'm talking to you, _Berrynose._"

Berrynose instantly shut his mouth.

"Good. How it should be. Now please welcome our host, Twigbranch!"

Everyone cheered and clapped as the gray she-cat walked onto stage, looking nervous.

"Uh… oh! T-thank you, thank you!" she called. She walked over to her podium and sat down shakily, adjusting the microphone. "Today, for today, we are going to - uh - be…"

She laughed nervously as the microphone stopped working, then started up again. She continued, "We're going to be doing some trivia. Um, please welcome our special guests!"

Everyone cheered as three cats walked onto stage. One was a golden she-cat, another was a brown tom with ginger legs, and another was a huge dark brown tabby with a scar over his nose. They each sat down in their spots.

"A-alright. Mothwing, Finleap, Tiger(claw)star. If I buzz the buzzer, you're wrong! If I click this button, you're right! It's trivia time!"

The audience cheered and clapped, making Twigbranch feel a bit better. She picked up the cue cards and looked at the first question.

"First question, to Finleap. Name six modern Riverclan cats."

"Uh," the brown and ginger tom stuttered, "Mistystar… Mothwing, Willowshine… Reedwhisker? Um…"

"Do you have any other guesses?" Twigbranch asked, looking at the nervous tom.

"Uh… I don't know anymore than that," Finleap responded, looking a little worried.

"Alright, then the question goes to Tiger(claw)star. Name six current day Riverclan cats."

Looking confident, the big tom straightened up.

"That's easy," he sneered. "Mistystar, Willowshine, Reedwhisker, Hawkfrost -"

_Buzz._

Twigbranch buzzed the 'incorrect' buzzer, cutting him off.

"Hawkfrost is dead."

"But I saw him in the commercial!" Tiger(claw)star protested, making laughs rise from the crowd.

"Well, only dead according to the books!" Twigbranch replied cheerfully. "Mothwing, the question goes to you!"

Mothwing gave a small smile - being Riverclan's medicine cat, she obviously knew many of the cats in her clan and could even list them off memory.

"Mistystar, Icewing, Reedwhisker, Willowshine, myself - "

_Buzz._

"Wrong!" Twigbranch exclaimed, buzzing the buzzer. "'Myself' is not a Riverclan cat."

Mothwing gasped. "But…" she explained, "I meant as in me. Mothwing."

"Well, too late!" Twigbranch laughed. "That was your answer. Next question, everyone! Do kits go to Starclan when they die? To Mothwing."

Mothwing frowned.

"Well, I don't believe -"

_Buzz._

"Wrong!" Twigbranch buzzed the buzzer again, obviously enjoying buzzing the buzzer way to much. "Finleap! Do kits go to Starclan when they die?"

Finleap's gaze turned misty, as he stared at Twigbranch.

"Can we have - "

_Buzz._

"Wrong!" Twigbranch exclaimed. "This is a yes or no question! It's simple! The question goes to Tiger(claw)star! Do kits go to Starclan when they die?"

He grunted.

"I like to believe they go to the Dark Forest, so they can suffer eternal hunger like me."

_Buzz._

"Nope! Twigbranch exclaimed. "You're wrong! All dead kits go to Starclan. Alright, no one's gotten any points yet, but that's okay! The next cat to..." She broke off in a yawn.

"Excuse me," she said wearily, "I am starting to feel rather tired… next question..."

Then the gray she-cat collapsed.

Gasps rose from the audience and suddenly, everything was complete kaos.

"Is she okay?" Someone in the audience called.

"Do I have to do mouth to mouth?" Finleap asked Mothwing, looking rather eager.

Mothwing, however, was too shocked to respond. Suddenly Hawkfrost ran over to Twigbranch.

"Don't worry! I know just what to do!" he exclaimed.

Mothwing snapped out of her shock.

"Get away from her!" she yowled angrily at Hawkfrost, her brother.

Hawkfrost refused to budge. "No!" he hissed. "I know exactly what's wrong with her."

"Then what is it?" Mothwing snarled. "What will cure her then, liar?"

So Hawkfrost said, "Jelly donuts!"

Just on timing, Twigbranch muttered, "... Jelly donuts… "

Before Mothwing could stop him, he grabbed Twigbranch in a fireman's carry, ignoring shouts of, "Beard stapler," from the crowd. Finleap anxiously ran after him, with Mothwing angrily in tow, leaving Tiger(claw)star standing on stage.

Tiger(claw)star looked out at the crowd blankly for a moment, then said, "That's all! See you next time on T.A.G.! Now, I have to go murder some cats…"

Then, he left the stage and the curtains closed behind him like clockwork.

**Thank you to Moonkitti and Bright Guardian Akira for the question about the Riverclan cats. And thanks to you, for reading!**


	2. Gameshow Review

**Thanks Ivystorm, for inspiring me! Inspiration goes both ways, doesn't it? **

**And also make sure to do what the chapter title says! :**

Chapter two: Review

Icecloud sat at her dark blue desk, drumming her fingers slightly on the shiny desktop.

"Now," she announced, "I will be reviewing the hit new game show, Twigbranch's Amazing Gameshow, or T.A.G., for short."

"Hey, me too!" Foxleap exclaimed from beside her.

"Of course, you too," Icecloud laughed. "Foxleap will be our guest reviewer for today. Foxleap, would you like to speak a little about yourself?"

Foxleap beamed.

"My pleasure, Icecloud. I'm a food reviewer, and the owner of Gato Taco - swing by my shop sometime if you haven't already!"

Icecloud gave a small smile. "Thank you, Foxleap. Now, for a commercial before we watch."

Twigbranch eagerly watched the T.V. from her office desk. Suddenly, the door creaked open slowly.

"Am I interrupting anything?" Hawkfrost asked from the doorway, his eyes darting over to the television screen.

"No!" Twigbranch exclaimed. "Come on in! The news station is reviewing my show!"

"Our show," Hawkfrost corrected her, pulling up a chair. "Why do you have a T.V. in your office, anyway?"

"Because." Twigbranch shrugged, then pointed to the screen.

"Look! They're starting!"

Icecloud: Hello, audience. Today Foxleap and I will be reviewing T.A.G. - the hot new gameshow. So Foxleap, what do the websites say about Twigbranch's Amazing Gameshow? What are their ratings like?

Foxleap: Mostly positive. I can see T.A.G. becoming a real thing. The Mew York Times gives T.A.G two paws up, and it's been pushed to third on the list! But one anony-mouse reviewer gives it only two and a half stars, saying that the question 'Name six modern Riverclan cats' was too hard for anyone to answer.

Beside Twigbranch, Hawkfrost let out a growl.

"That's the point. Gameshow are supposed to be hard," he hissed. "That's some mousebrained crowfood!"

Twigbranch shushed him.

"They're still talking! Watch it!"

They turned their attention back to the T.V. screen.

I: It's tough to please everyone, isn't it, Foxleap? You should know about that first-paw! You do own a restaurant, after-all.

F: True, but when you make a mistake, you can correct it.

I: I've never heard wiser words.

F: *Grins* Then you've never lived! Anyways, can we talk about that crazy commercial before T.A.G.? That's really the hot stuff.

I: Great! Of course. The cat in the Beard Stapler commercial has been identified as Hawkfrost, a former Dark Forest warrior. This must be what has made T.A.G. go viral!

"That's it," Hawkfrost hissed from next to her, getting up. "I'm out of here."

"Wait!" Twigbranch exclaimed, grabbing onto his arm (foreleg?). "Look!"

*The camera cut to a visual of a lot of cats lined up outside Blue Star studios.*

F: *Chuckles* Looks like they're all lined up to get the Beard Stapler!

Hawkfrost turned to Twigbranch. "Do you know what this means?" he asked.

"What?"

"I can sell 'Beard Staplers'!" Hawkfrost exclaimed, switching off the T.V. and grinning. "I'll go buy normal ones, then sell them for more. Twenty five bucks apiece!"

"But wouldn't that be taking advantage of them? The audience?" Twigbranch queried, a bit concerned.

"Yes, but do you understand what this means?" Hawkfrost exclaimed, eagerly, "I'm not going to have to work here anymore! We're going to rich!"

"But people _love_ our show!" Twigbranch cried.

Hawkfrost let out a small growl. "I'm leaving after the second episode. Why don't you join me? I'll give you half of the money that comes from the Beard Stapler. Promise."

He held out his pinky toe, offering a pinky promise.

She stared at him for a moment, then shook her head.

"_Money_ doesn't mean _anything_ to me. Happiness does. I've wanted to have my own Gameshow for my whole life," she said, annoyance apparent in her voice. "Leave my office. Now."

Hawkfrost, looking a bit surprised, stared at her.

"I said, go!" Twigbranch snapped. And with that, he walked away, leaving her standing in her office. She huffed.

"Featherbrained toms…"


End file.
